Ticket to the promise land

There’s so much political turmoil around us these days, it’s affecting every aspect of lives already and it looks like it will just get worse and worse. And as a good citizen that I am, all I can think of right now is how to help our oh so poor country. ‘If I’m the president’s adviser, what would I say to her?’ Being a poker junkie, you know what I’m going to say.

Here are some of the ideas that I’ve heard throughout the years.

Legalization of jueteng – in my opinion, even if you legalize it, there’s still too much room for cheating with this game.

Legalization of marijuana – I heard this from a crazy classmate I had in my philosophy101 class. Convert all our land resources into marijuana plantations, and be the premiere supplier of Mary Jane to the whole wide world. C’mon, do we actually think this will be fucking feasible? I don’t think we’ll get much respect from the international community once we make marijuana synonymous to Philippines.

Shift to a parliamentary form of government – My answer to this? No matter what modifications you do to the bus, as long as you have a shitty driver and stubborn passengers, you’re riding a highway to hell at 160mph.

Train every Filipino to be the next Manny Pacquiao – should I even consider this?

Train every Filipino to be the next Efren Reyes – this is currently being done, but I don’t think this is the best way to do it. Why? Few tournaments both here and abroad. Even our pros are having a hard time making it their living.

Promoting poker to the masses – now that’s an idea! And why not, we’ve been gambling since god knows when? There is a growing market across the globe, and I think now is the perfect time for us Filipinos to jump on the bandwagon. Thanks to the Spaniards, we are so much fatalistic and there is no doubt in my mind that this will be a hit to Juan dela Cruz. My seatmate in my accounting class got a glimpse of one of my text messages about poker, then we started to talk about it, apparently, we plays with his friends and knows Texas Hold ‘Em as seven card poker. But still, poker is poker and the fact that it’s slowly trickling down to all classes of society excites me so much. Poker will replace checkers, chess, and other card games the family drivers play while waiting for their bosses. We’ll soon fear the dark skinned kid when he steps inside the poker room rather than the English speaking dude who drives an expedition.

Just a matter of time ladies and gentlemen.

And to the president, Ma’am, you might need me in your staff.

grouch